I've been feeling very convicted the past couple of days. We attend a very very small church, so anyone new sticks out like a sore thumb. Anyway, we have a new family. They just moved to the area a couple weeks ago. I remember being new here. It was awful. I've heard it's a Scandinavian thing and that Minnesotans are just very private mind your own business kind of people. If you haven't been here forever then tough luck. I didn't want the new gal to feel the way that I did and still do, I didn't want her feeling lonely and friendless. What did I do about it? Absolutely nothing. I made pleasantries at church, but I didn't go out of my way to extend friendship. To my shock, she called a couple days ago and invited the kids and I over for a playdate. She is the new one, not me. I should have been more proactive. I failed.
Why is it that it's difficult to be an initiator? Is is just me? Don't get me wrong, I want to be a friend, I wanted in the worst way to make her feel welcome, but a fear of rejection seems to grip me. I've always been shy and it's sooo hard to break out of my safe little box. Does anyone else feel this way? Anyone have any tips or ideas on how to overcome it? I know that it is our responsibility as Christians to practice hospitality and show love, but sheesh... it's scary, y'all!
5 comments:
It's hard to get over the fear of being rejected. I heard some chic on Dobson the other day - she was talking about how hard it is on women when they move to a totally different area because of a new hubby or a new job or whatever. She said to get plugged in to a church and if nobody invites you over, then invite them. Don't expect hospitality but live it yourself. That hit home for me.
My problem isn't so much a fear of rejection as it is my bad memory. I am full of good intentions and forever forgetting to do them. Groan.
Don't be so hard on yourself. Just invite her over some other time. ;)
Thanks for the encouragement Tanya. You guys are about the only family we're not apprehensive about having over, lol. You know our house is a 200 year old nothing fancy piece of work and that we're pretty ordinary folks but you love us all the same. :)
Hmmmm...I really like hosting, but I don't always enjoy being a guest. I feel awkward and out of place in other people's homes. That's where my shyness comes into play. I'm afraid I'll do something incredibly embarrassing! To me, having people over in my own home is so much easier (even if it comes with its own embarrassing moments).
That said, we don't invite people over often enough! (I bet if we invite people over more often our house would stay cleaner, lol).
Steph~
Ha! I didn't say I was comfortable going places either. I think it comes down to a shyness thing. Well, and there's always that pesky problem of my unruly children doing something awful to someone's home. The aforementioned playdate is today and every fiber of my being wants to call and cancel. I'm facing this fear head on though!
I saw you picture her in her underwear. Oh wait I think that would make you more nervous. LOL! Rejection is part of life and may happen unfortunately. But let reaching out with Christ's love overcome your fear or rejection. His grace covers it all anyway.
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